And I Name You
by twilighteve-writes
Summary: She was dead. He knew that. But for gods, death didn't mean end, as there was still other ways he could keep her by his side. So he did, by naming her.


_"_ _Sever her ties or sever her chord."_

 _Never._

He watched the spirit there, looking lost and confused and _wrong, wrong, wrong_ because she should be smiling and laughing and imitating moves of her so-called Touno-sama.

But what was done was done. There was nothing he could do. If anything, shouldn't this allow him to keep her with him?

"… you, with nowhere to go and nowhere to return... I grant you a place to belong."

 _No._ You _granted me a place to belong._

* * *

"Yato! I managed to draw a borderline! Yukine taught me to!"

His lips quirked into that smile he always wore around her – genuine, caring, happy, yet undoubtedly sad. "Really? That's great!"

Her brown eyes sparkled like stars reflected on tranquil lake. "It's the first time I've gotten it! It's incredible! Now I can be more useful to you, Yato!"

"You worry about that too much," Yato laughed.

"But aren't Regalias supposed to be heavenly tools? If I'm not useful then what good am I?" she pouted.

He laughed again. "I don't really care about that, really. As long as you and Yukine are safe, I won't complain. Yukine and I will protect you."

"But I don't want to be protected. I want to be useful. Let _me_ protect you."

He froze at once. The guilt that he had banished away – _no, not banished, just hidden, never truly gone, simply spying for the right moment to strike back –_ came crashing at him full-force, and if he had been standing he would have buckled right then and there. A gasp escaped his lips and his trembling hands moved, finding place on her shoulders. His body shook with unshed tears as he tried his best to tone down the tremble, to keep his emotion in check because he couldn't break down, not now, not in front of her.

"Yato?"

He sobbed.

* * *

"What were you thinking?!"

He winced at the shout. He had expected it, really, because how could Tenjin _not_ be angry with him? He had messed up and he knew that. He deserved the scolding the much older god was giving him.

Funny how he always thought he hated the old god, yet also thought of him as a mentor of sorts.

"Don't you realize, she died because she was so entangled with you?" the god of learning raged, stormy expression in place, and he accepted every word thrown to his face and took them into his heart because they were all true. "It's your fault for not fixing her condition right from the start. Haven't I told you before the whole incident with Bishamon and her clan of Regalia that cutting off her ties with you would fix all her problem?"

He could feel Tsuyu's eyes on him, stoic and calculating as always. She was calm and collected, ever the picture of tranquility, the perfect model of the peacefulness granted by a plum tree that she really was deep inside. By her side was Mayu. His old Tomone. Her eyes looked troubled, mixed with a swirl of pity that made his heart throb even more. He wished he could tell her to look away, to stop pitying him. But he couldn't, wouldn't… he had no energy to do that.

"You're like a child," Tenjin compared mercilessly. "A child who had broken a toy he loves and is unwilling to let go. So he takes whatever is left of it and hopes it's still good and keeps it around."

He bit his lower lip. There was nothing he could say to deny Tenjin's claims.

Tenjin huffed, apparently out of steam. "Tell me, Yato," he requested, tone somewhat softer this time, "what name does she bear now?"

He bit his lip harder and answered.

* * *

"You named her?"

He nodded grimly. He knew just how stupid, how impulsive it had been. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't let go of her. It wasn't her time anyway, that much he could say, so why was it so wrong to do it?

Daikoku sighed. "I'm not going to tell you that you were wrong or anything, but… why?"

"She was just… there." Yato's voice trembled. "I can't leave her. I can't let her be eaten by ayakashi. I can't just…" His voice faded away. "Isn't it just better to keep her as my Regalia? She'll be safer."

"Will she really?" Daikoku asked with a raised brow. "I'm not saying that she'll be safer being a stray spirit, but you know that you aren't the safest god to be around. Even though you're trying to be a god of fortune, you're still a no-name god as of now. Are you sure you can protect her?"

He nodded.

Daikoku stared and exhaled. "As always, the room at the top is empty," he informed. "You and Yukine and her can use it as long as you want to. Until you have your own place, I hope you can stay here. It's much safer that way."

"…thank you."

"What should I call her?"

* * *

"I never thought you'd be so attached to her."

He gave a weak laugh. "I never thought I'd be, either."

"But to name her when you can barely manage? Really?"

He looked up. Blue eyes met violet, and his gaze must have answered her question because Bishamon sighed and looked away.

"I heard Tenjin got mad at you," she commented.

He nodded, not even bothering to deny it. "He scolded me. He said I should have severed her ties with me and had it done with right from the start."

She looked at him. "But you chose to keep her instead."

"Yes," he confirmed.

She looked up at the sky. The cloudless starry night gazed back at her, and she gave a thoughtful hum. "Personally, I agree with Tenjin," she admitted at last, and his shoulders sag immediately. "If you had had severed her ties with you she would probably still be alive… or not. Who knows? Fate is a curious thing. We can't predict it, not with the power we have as deities."

He looked at her, feeling his stomach drop lower and lower with each word that left her lips.

"But I understand why you chose to do it," her next words surprised Yato. "If _he_ were a mortal and this was to happen to _him_ … I'd do the same thing."

He stared at her in surprise. Of all people that he knew, Bishamon was the last one that he would have betted to understand why he came to take this decision. With their centuries of feud, he was surprised that she would agree with him at all.

"I sure hope that this decision won't bite you in the butt one day, Yato."

She turned to him, and her violet eyes were filled with pained understanding, and he was relieved to see that there was no pity in the depths of those aged eyes. Out of nowhere, she fished two cans of beer and gave him one of them. "For those that we managed to save… and those we couldn't."

He stared at the can for a moment and took it.

"What do you call her?"

"It's…"

* * *

Yukine was crying. He had been for what seemed to be hours, now, even though it most likely was only a few minutes.

Yato could feel his chest constricting painfully, stinging, both from the whirlwind of emotion Yukine was feeling and from his own heartache. But there was still a way to save her – if not, at least to keep her safe.

"I'll make her my Regalia."

Yukine gasped, his sobs stopping in an instance. "What…?" he asked, as though he doubted his own hearing.

"I'm making her my Regalia," Yato repeated, voice stronger and gaze firmer. "We can still keep her safe. Her death doesn't mean it's the end."

"But…"

"It's okay, Yukine," he assured him. "I'm sure this is the right choice."

A god's decision is always correct.

He was a god.

That meant, his decision to keep her around was right.

Wasn't it?

He put his index and middle finger together, staring at the spirit that stared back at him in that hurtful, _hurtful_ confusion and loss. He gritted his teeth and started the chant.

"…you, with nowhere to go and nowhere to return… I grant you a place to belong. My name is Yato. Bearing a posthumous name, you shall remain here."

Yukine stared at the procession with awe in his eyes. _That's right_ , Yato thought, _this is the first time he sees this._ The sadness in his eyes wasn't completely gone, but it was masked, and maybe someday that mask would become the real thing.

"With this name, I make thee my servant." A swish of his hand to create the needed words to brand her with. "With this name and its alternate, I make thee a Regalia."

* * *

"Ya – Yato! Why are you crying?" she asked in panic as he kept her at arms' length while he choked and sobbed and watched the drops of tears falling to the floor. "Are you hurt anywhere? Can I help you with anything?"

"No," his voice cracked. "No, it's alright."

"But Yato…!"

He shook his head. "Can you come closer, please?"

He was silent for a moment before sliding closer. He took a deep breath and pulled into his embrace, all while sobbing. She was frozen in confusion for a moment before her hands moved and began stroking his back. "There, there," she muttered, even though it was clear from her tone that she was still feeling lost.

 _I'm sorry I couldn't protect you when you were alive. I'm sorry I didn't act on your prayer sooner. I'm sorry I failed. Please let me try again._

He glanced up and saw that Yukine was there, staring at the scene with tears of his own in his eyes. He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath before turning and going away. Yato knew that he meant. He couldn't handle this, couldn't handle her dying. So he saw running away. He would come back and face his problems eventually… but right now he needed an escape.

"Yato, please tell me if something is wrong. I'll help."

Her voice brought another wave of guilt and he sobbed louder. "No, it's nothing…"

"But…"

"It's nothing." _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm "_ sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

"What are you apologizing for, Yato?"

 _Everything_. "Nothing… don't worry about that, – "

* * *

"Thou art – " his voice halted. He couldn't call her by any other name, but using her real name was impossible. "Thou art Hiyo." Because she couldn't be anyone else. "As Regalia, Hane. Come, Hakki."

The name took place in her back, between her shoulder blades. There was an expression of surprise in her eyes as she turned into a pillar of light, shooting to the sky and later into his hands. She had become a weapon. A bow, metallic and beautiful, with elegant swirls covering its sides.

As beautiful as she had been when she was alive.

 _"Make her your Regalia. Kill her, and summon her soul to your side. I'm sure she'd be elated by that."_

 _In the end, I'm following his advice._

His sharp eyes saw movement in the dark, and instinctively Yato pulled at Hakki's string. An arrow of light was created instantly, and he released the string. The ayakashi in the shadows gave a squeak and fell limp, disintegrating into red light immediately, as Hakki's light arrow pierced it.

Memories that weren't his flooded his mind and his knees buckled. Tears spilled from his eyes as guilt flooded his heart. He gasped for air. Barely registering that Hakki had fallen, and tried his best to control himself.

"Revert, – "

* * *

 _Hiyori._

" – Hiyone."

And that would be what she should be called for the rest of her now nearly endless life, wrong and false and fake.

But it was _her_.

* * *

A/N: first Noragami fic.

This is definitely post chapter 51 of the manga. I don't know why Hiyori dies either, to be honest, since I just want to focus on Yato's later laments.

Hiyori's name as a Regalia is Hane (Hakki), and it's taken from the Japanese word _hane_ , meaning feather. She seems to enjoy being in high places and she often walks on high fences and whatnot, so I think _feather_ suits her. Hakki is just like how Yukine's name is at first Setsu but then Yato calls him Sekki. As for the incantation to name Hiyori, I just ran some Google search and I'm honestly not 100% sure if it matches anime or not.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. Please leave some reviews to tell me what you think!

*edit: SO. zapantaglazeray1995 had just notified me about something that I didn't know about in their review... Regalia names should be in Chinese reading and not Japanese reading, for one thing. So if I use the character 羽 ( _hane_ in Japanese reading), Hiyori's name should be Ukki instead... and the character apparently can't be read as _hiyo_ either. Whoops.

To this, I have to apologize. My only approach to search for the name I thought appropriate for Hiyori was to run Google Translate search of the word I thought would suit her. And since I don't speak or read Chinese and have abysmal level of understanding of Japanese kanji (and to be completely honest the language itself since I haven't been learning for too long), I hadn't realized my mistake. It's a mistake on my part since I hadn't run more research, which I should have.

However, I have to say that I have no intention to changing the story, either. While I'm aware that the name is an iffy issue, my reason of changing Hiyori to Hiyone and using the word _hane_ was because I thought Yato would give her a name that would suit her personality no matter what because he didn't really want to change her name. For him, she was still Hiyori, just with her entire memory gone. So he didn't want to change her name. But of course that would only spell trouble, so... yeah.

I apologize once again for any confusion and/or inconvenience caused by this mistake. As a form of apology, I pray for all your fortunes to Yatogami; may you always have good grades, have satisfactory jobs, and never have to deal with annoying people who tire you out to no end.


End file.
